Against all Odds

After seventeen years of marriage, seven kids (6 biological, 1 amazing gift that we've been beyond blessed to call son and co-raise), and a boat load of life in between; not much comes as a huge shock or takes us by surprise.

My husband (Tim) and I have lived an adventure that makes me weak in the knees when I stop and reflect on the excitement, pain, fear and sheer joy we've shared over the years. Together we've seen God's faithfulness in the small mundane details of life and we've also seen His mighty hand at work in the huge events that play out day-to-day. 

Well, the past couple of months we've experienced several of those 'huge events' that have nearly leveled us. They've taken us by surprise and rocked us to the core, BUT God has carried us and continues to ask us to trust Him. 

When Tim and I got married two days after we graduated from high school, we had no clue what we were in store for as we decided to hold hands and walk through this life, seeking God together. I smile as I type because I had no idea that I married a dreamer and a man with incredible vision for the future. He is also someone who fiercely loves his family and is an amazing example of a servant leader. 

After the birth of each of our children, Tim and I have carefully considered what form of birth control we would use. We've made every effort to choose birth control which would not allow me to become pregnant at the mere thought of my husband, because you know, that's what seems to happen. 

It's 99.9% effective and it has always worked 

amazingly for us. 

The birth control is a small little T shaped device 

called a Mirena that keeps me from ovulating or having periods (hallelujah, right ladies?). 

Win, win... I'd say!!

A few weeks ago I sensed something wasn't right in the 'all things female department' so I secretly went to Walgreen's and bought a pregnancy test. I bought it thinking, "Who does this?! Who gets pregnant with an IUD?"

                                              Well, we do! 

I told you the mere mention of a baby makes my uterus all kinds of happy and I'm sure if we could hear it talking it would say, "stick a baby in this warm little oven. I'm ready!" Even when we've made every attempt to keep it cooled down and unable to bake a little bun. 

I knew that there was a 50% chance of a miscarriage if I were to become pregnant while the Mirena was still in place, so I waited a week to tell Tim. After dinner one night I shared our exciting news... yes, it's still exciting even when it's your seventh pregnancy. We rejoiced together for a little over a week and just like past pregnancies we decided to wait until I was twelve or so weeks along before we shared with the other kiddos. 

While preparing dinner last week I began to have awful cramping. Did I tell you I've birthed six kids so I know the difference between 'ouch' cramping and 'holy crap, somethings wrong' cramping? 

I went into the bathroom where I quickly realized I was bleeding quite a bit. I've been a woman long enough to know what this all meant. I went and sat with my husband at the dining room table and shared what was happening. He looked at me with a reassuring grin that has the power to melt me while at the same time cause uncontrollable tears to flow. He squeezed my hand and we knew there were no words that would help the ache we felt in our hearts. We both felt the weight of the situation. 

He promptly sent me to go rest while he helped our kids cleanup our dinner mess. 

The next morning I called the doctor to schedule an appointment to confirm what we already knew.They couldn't get me in for over a week so we were in a place of waiting and praying for the best.

We knew there was nothing we could do but trust the Lord and wait. 

Over the past six months our family has been walking through some pretty tough stuff, so we decided we would sit our kids down and share the news so we could pray, grieve and love each other through this chapter. 

Our kids cried but we saw something strange too. They were full of hope. 

I use the word 'strange' because even through their tears they seemed to think we already beat the 99.9% chance of getting pregnant, so it wasn't too far fetched that our baby was still growing. 

"These kids are crazy!" I thought, but we allowed them the space to feel and hope as we all anxiously awaited my appointment. 

Appointment day was upon us and our kids refused to go to school because they knew I would be getting news that they too were eagerly awaiting. So off I went, while they stayed at home... waiting. 

(IUD is the white line next to my nail)

As I sat on the cold examining table, the doctor came in to perform an ultrasound and see what was happening. He quickly spotted the IUD. 

And then he shifted the probe to a much more important finding... 








                                                    A heartbeat! 

   

                    Against all odds we had a little tiny heartbeat!!!

You guys... this birth control is 99.9% effective! I was bleeding, cramping and stood a very high chance of not seeing anything. I don't know what that does to your heart but it makes mine feel incredibly thankful. 

We weren't planning (in fact we were doing just the opposite) to have a baby, BUT... We are having a baby!

The doctor also located a large blood clot that we will need to monitor. We were hoping we could remove the IUD but because of its location it has to stay in place because we can't remove it without hurting the baby. Prayerfully our baby will grow without any complications right next to the little plastic device that was supposed to prevent us from conceiving him/her. 

So we pray. We rejoice. 

The doctor said we should remain cautiously optimistic because of the IUD and blood clot but today we are incredibly grateful. 

We thank God today and we have hope even when we don't know what will happen tomorrow. Sometimes our plan looks very different from the plan the creator of the world has... and it is amazing! He graciously allows us to see Him in the pain we experience as well as in the jaw dropping moments that leave us scratching our heads wondering what on earth He's up to. I've come to learn and scripture is very clear that it is okay to weep, it's okay to grieve and it's also okay to rejoice. 

Thank you for being part of our story and loving our family.

~Nicole