"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." Proverbs 138:7-10
Do you ever have those days, months maybe even years that are described in Psalms? Do you ever want to hide away and hope not a single person will look for you? You want to pull the covers over your head and just hide.
Moving to Lexington from Reno has proved to be one of the most difficult things I have experienced. In Reno I was involved in ministry, friends, work and quite simply I enjoyed being busy. Upon arrival to Lexington I quickly realized that was all gone. I realized that I no longer had my friends. Ministry was not there to fill up my time and I no longer had a job. I was now a stay at home mom with five active kids and a brand new baby to care for. My husband had started residency and was gone 80 hours a week. This was easily going to be the easiest time in my life to hide, right?
Wrong! As Psalms says, "where can I hide from your Spirit?" I can now answer, nowhere.
God had taken me to the middle of nowhere and dropped me off. I was trying to tell myself that I will just "get through" the next three years. That is until I realized that God wasn't letting me take the short route into the "promised land" he was going to take me the long way through the desert.
In Exodus 13:17-18 the Israelites had their freedom but now what?
"Now when Pharaoh had let the people go, God did not lead them by the way of the land of the Philistines, even though it was near; for God said, 'The people might change their minds when they see war, and return to Egypt."
Even though there was clearly a shorter route to the Promised Land God chose to take His people the longer route so they could recognize His love and provision in their own lives and not want to go back to the safety that Egypt offered.
The shorter route was not what God has intended for my life. He is willing to let me feel alone so that I can look up. He is willing to expose my weakness so that I may feel His strength. He is willing to allow me to lose valuable friendships so that He may be my friend. He is willing to let us scrape by financially so that I will see the "manna" He has provided. He is willing to let me be in the dark so that He may shine His light.
God is not letting me return to Egypt.
"I know, O Lord, that a man's way is not in himself, Nor is it in a man who walks to direct his steps." Jeremiah 10:23
The "easy" is not always His best.
The "safe" is not always His best.
The "comfortable" is not always His best.
The "known" is not always His best.
Sometimes we are asked to take a journey that we may wonder why can't we take the easier route? You may be asking; "why can't my husband just find a job?" Why can't we have a baby?" Why can't I hear your voice, God?" "Why won't you let me be involved with that ministry?" "Why can't people see ME?"
But He knows
He knows you
He knows what you need. You cannot hide from Him. You may have fooled everyone around you but you cannot hide from God's best for you.
If you turn off the light, He will brighten the room. If you pull the covers over your head in rebellion, He will uncover your head so that a story can be told.
Are you willing to take the long route? Are you willing to take the lonely road so that God can be your source?
Will you allow God to reveal Himself to you... so that you not only hear of His love, but your eyes can see what He has done.
"I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; But now my eye sees You." Job 42:5
Do you want to see Him so that you are not tempted to return to Egypt?
Egypt offers safety but the Promised Land offers freedom.
I want all that God has for my life! All that He has, not what "I" think He may have for me. I must walk through the desert first though.
Are you in the desert? Count it as pure joy that God sees you!
Recognize in your pain and despair that; "even there 'His' hand will guide 'you,' 'His' right hand will hold 'you' fast."Psalms 138:10
Today there may be a horrible dust storm in your desert but stand tall, close your eyes, and know that when it passes you will see Him and He will help you take the next step.
Enjoy being a child of God's today... wherever your today may be.
Father God, today we submit to you in the desert so that we can see you in the plentiful. Remind me today Lord to trust you with my hopes and fears. Help me see your face. Hold me in your hand and defend me from my enemies. I am yours Lord... thank you for not letting me hide out in the desert but instead take refuge in your promise. I love being your child. Teach me your ways God. --Amen.
Sit back and soak in God. Press play close your eyes and let Him minister to your heart.