"Don't worry I will take good care of you"

"Will you trust me?"
                     " Do you trust me?"
                                              " Have 'Faith' and know that I am in control!!"

I was doubled over in so much pain. I had a terrible pain in my upper abdomen and it was almost unbearable. I was 27 weeks pregnant and I knew it wasn't time. It was too early for our girl to make her entrance.

Days earlier my midwife told me that she wouldn't be able to treat me any longer and that I would have to see an Ob/Gyn because I was terribly anemic. I consulted a family friend (Ob/Gyn) who let me know that when my medical insurance kicked in he would send me to get a blood transfusion.

I called him that morning in so much pain and he told me to come right in. Upon arrival he made sure  I wasn't in labor but knew something was wrong. I was scoped through my mouth into my belly and nothing was found. He gave my five units of blood and transferred me from Fallon to Reno to a higher level of care (60 miles away).

The surgeon in Reno told Tim and me that he would have to go in and do surgery. It came with great risk to the baby and I could deliver our sweet girl early. My family gathered and with tears I was barely able to utter the words.  I asked them all to stay until after the surgery because there was a chance she wouldn't survive the surgery. I wanted them all to kiss her and tell her goodbye if I was unable too. I wanted them to see her hands and feet. I wanted them to love on her and kiss her sweet face.

Laying on a hospital bed, I was rolled in for surgery. The anesthesiologist leaned in and whispered in my ear "Momma, don't worry. I will take good care of you and her." Tears ran down my cheeks as he pushed the anesthesia into my IV.

I woke up in horrible pain and knew I was in labor. I felt ripping on my belly from the four inch incision running straight up and down my abdomen. With every contraction the incision felt like it was going to rip wide open.

I heard the surgical nurse telling someone on the phone "get her off my floor she is in labor, we are not prepared for this!" I was rolled out and into the delivery room. They were trying to stop the labor with magnesium sulfate (crazy stuff). I remember in a fog looking up at Tim and thinking, "Okay God... this is what it is like.... I am about to meet you and I am okay with it, but my husband is going to be all alone with three maybe four kids."

I whispered to Tim, "Please take care of my babies." I don't think he heard me. There was so much chaos in the room and I was certain I was about to meet my creator.

Do you need God to whisper in your ear like the doctor did in mine?
                         
                            "Don't worry, I am taking care of you!"

Have you forgotten today that no matter what, he is right there with you?

Hebrews 13:5c God says; "I will never leave you nor forsake you"

I am not going to lie... I was terrified.

I was terrified... that my daughter was going to be born too early.

... that my husband was going to have to raise our kids alone.

... that I wasn't going to be able to share those beautiful smiles our kids give us anymore.

... that she (my unborn daughter) was going to die and I wouldn't get to tell her goodbye.

I was asked to trust God in that moment... I was asked to trust God even if I was about to die (which I totally thought was happening).
I was asked to surrender my unborn baby over to God even though I have felt her kick, move, even have hiccups...

What if she never gets to have life....?

"I will trust you God!! I will trust you!!!"

For the next couple of days I was unable to move because the medication caused my body to be almost paralyzed. I also was unable to see anything but shadows. I couldn't even scratch my own head... but my baby girls heart was still beating. I couldn't open my right eye and that side of my face drooped.

No matter what was put in front of me... I was going to trust God.

I had "Faith."

The Lord spoke to my heart to trust Him and to know that He alone was still in control.


Over the next couple of days the Lord reminded me of the treasures He still had for me here on earth. He also reminded me that I would continue to see Him at work now and in the future.

Isaiah 45:3; "I have hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name."

He has big things stored up for you! Are you willing to trust Him even if you can't see?

Lord help us to search for you in the dark places where life seems to overwhelm us. Give us your eyes to see the things in our lives that breaks your heart. Bring us to our knees Lord so that we are forced to look to you alone. Lord I trust you! I trust you through my fear. I trust you through my tears! I want more of you in my life. Summons me by name God. I want to find the treasures that you have hidden away for me. Thank you for loving me! --Amen

Painting on the wall

We knew it was going to be a different kind of Christmas when my mom announced that this year we couldn't afford anything. We hadn't purchased a tree or any gifts to go under it. Paint and a white door would have to do. Mom told us that we couldn't even pay our bills let alone try to do what most Americans deem the norm for Christmas.

We lived in a single wide trailer out in the middle of nowhere. The walls were terribly thin and cold air flowed into our small house quicker than the fireplace could heat it.  My younger sister, older brother, my mom, her husband and me, lived in this shell of a home.  We had two tiny bedrooms and little hope. We were surviving and at that time, Jesus' birth seemed of little consolation to this seventh grade girl.

Mom sat my sister and I down with lots of different colored paint and a fresh canvas on the white interior side of the front door. Mom painted the Christmas tree. With every stroke of the paint brush, the door was quickly turning into a beautiful piece of art.

She was desperate to make Christmas special even in the midst of our poverty. My sister and I anxiously waited for the tree to dry so we could start to paint ornaments onto the bare tree. Red, Blue and yellow balls never looked so beautiful.

We had a Christmas tree now.

Some may frown upon our version of a tree, but it was beautiful. I went to bed that night, cold from the temperature but my heart was warm from my moms love.

I slept good that night. The next morning I woke up and went out to find my mom had painted a few presents under the tree. I was giddy with excitement because she stayed up to paint a gift under our tree. Over the next couple of weeks the painted tree was the focal point in our home. We had fun creating beauty out of sadness. My mom took pride in showing her kids a Christmas with or without money.

Christmas morning came and we eagerly awoke knowing that presents we would not find. Instead, wrapped and perched at the top of the couch were three "real" gifts.

"Mom, I thought we weren't going to have gifts," I said with excitement.

With tears flowing down her cheeks my mom replied, "I had some extra food stamps so this is the best I could do."

 She made us sit like any other Christmas and watched us one by one open our presents.
My brother went first. He opened a huge jar of peperoncini's.
My sister Brandi was next. She opened her favorite thing, Maraschino cherries.
It was my turn. I remember feeling excited because my mom had picked out the perfect gifts.  She purchased the best she could offer with the little resources she had. I ripped the paper away and inside was a jar of Italian mix Giardiniera. It was a delicious pickled vegetable mix with a kick of spice.

I loved it!

Every year as I watch my own kids open their gifts, I can't help but think how even in the poverty I faced as a child,  God still had his best to offer me.

Sometimes we think that God isn't offering us what He is capable of providing for His children. The reality is God has already given the perfect gift. The painted gifts under our tree provided me with a reminder for life that God alone provides all our needs. My moms best was painted on the door and wrapped into three small gifts.

Often we get so caught up in our circumstances that we forget about the gift. If we all received exactly what we deserved we would receive death. Instead God has given his free gift of eternal life. 

Romans 6:23 says, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

We can't buy it!

When we surrender our will to the will of God's, he gives us our life back to use for His purposes.

New gifts, toys, and things that we have never used before require an owners manual. You must read it and read it again when you forget in order to operate the thing properly.

We are no different. Once you have given your life over to Jesus don't expect to know how to operate in the fullness He has for you without consulting the owners manual. The bible. He created you and knows how you operate and you are a unique model.

It is always easy to slip back and except the familiar, the road usually traveled. The person who is willing to consult the owners manual, is the person that will have life to the fullest.

My mom offered us the best she could without trying to pretend she had anything else. That is exactly what God wants from you.

Offer Him your best! How ever little you may feel your best is, He will use it for purposes bigger than what we could have dreamt possible. He will paint a beautiful canvas, and on that canvas He will surprise you with new gifts each day. 

Lamentations 3:23 declares, "Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning."

Today I encourage you to offer God your best so that He in turn can use your life for His best. 

Lord, I am thankful for your constant gift of salvation in my life. Thank you for your mercies that are new every morning. Help me Lord to see you in ALLsituations. Open my eyes to the things around me. You are the perfect gift! Thank you for sending your son. -Amen

Safety from the storm

I love looking outside watching the storm cover the ground with a mix of rain and snow. The wind is blowing out of control. Tumble weed is stirring in the air and then is quickly taken to the next yard never to be seen by my eyes again. The temperature is frigid and would cause goose bumps to sprout up within seconds.

I can sit and enjoy the storm, sip a nice cup of tea and appreciate the seriousness of what is occurring beyond my sliding glass door. Inside of my home it is a comfortable 70 degrees. I have warm winter socks, long sleeve shirt, and comfy pants on to keep the heat from escaping from my body. The sliding glass door gives me the opportunity to be comfortable and safe but also allows me to view what is going on right outside, just feet from where I am sitting. The glass on the door is thin but somehow protects me from the unrest of the storm. I know that at any moment I can walk out and feel the rain, snow, and wind on my face. 

If I decided to walk out and somehow found myself trapped outside all I would have to do is bang on that sliding glass door. From the storm looking in I can see safety. My family is laughing, yelling and enjoying the craziness of a big family. I know that right away if I banged on the door they would open it so that I could begin to thaw out. 

In 1 Peter; Peter is addressing the gentiles (us) that are scattered throughout and facing great persecution, slander, riots and even social ostracism. The readers are encouraged to rejoice and live above reproach. In the midst of the "storm" to live a life that is worthy of people noticing. 

1 Peter 5:10 proclaims,  "...the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."

There is safety in the arms of God in the midst of the trial. Many people say that God never gives us more than we can handle. Instead he promises us that in the storm a way out will be given and he will give us what we need to endure it. Another words, you will not be alone!!

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

You will find yourself inside looking out at the storm that others are facing in their own lives. Other times you may be tempted to run out into the storm "just to see what it is like." It is in those times that you are in the storm, freezing, desperate to find safety that you need to run and bang on the door and come in out of the cold and begin to thaw out. The storm isn't going to stop just because you were able to run in, instead it will have a thin piece of glass "God" protecting you from feeling overwhelmed by the wind that is relentless in beating against you. 

Not seeking God in the storm of your life is like standing at the sliding glass door, weeping and mouthing "let me in, I'm cold!" but never yelling and banging on the door saying that you need help. 

There are times in our lives that we run out into the storm thinking that we alone are strong enough to handle the horrible conditions. Just as the National weather agency issues notices of a storm that is coming, God has given us his word as a warning of things we must avoid. Storms that He already knows we are not equipped to travel through. The difference between the weather service and God is that He is always right! Stop putting yourself in harms way. He has already seen the storm on the horizon and wants you to safely stay out of harms way. 

If you already find yourself out in the storm.....

God loves you and there is safety in his arms, bang down the door with prayer and dig into your word so that you can begin to warm up and actually feel the safety he has to offer. 

You will face trial!!

You will have pain!!
You will have storms in your life!!!
and.....

You will need GOD!!! 

It is never too late to start yelling for help. He will open the door wide, throw a blanket around you and stand looking out and keep you safe until the storm passes. Praise the Lord, it is going to pass!! After it passes it is only then that you can go outside and survey the damage and begin the repairs. 

Don't try to repair the damage until you have found safety with God. 

Lord in the storms of my life help me to run to you. Through your word reveal ways to avoid the storms that we sometimes walk into. Help us to heed your warnings, take them seriously and not run out just to see if somehow we can keep warm while everyone else is freezing to death. Help us to seek shelter in your loving arms while the storms are pounding around us. Thank you Lord for loving us!!! --Amen

This is all I have

It was only our second month, we hadn't even put a name to what we were doing. It was the week before Christmas and all our family wanted to do was go feed the hungry. The team was assembled and we headed down to Safe Ground (tent city- homeless complex). We had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, chips and lots more yummy things to fill the bellies of the residents downtown. We served the meal, sang Christmas carols and began to do what God had actually sent us downtown for.

Tim (my husband) was talking with a man who was sharing what it is like to live in a tent. The snow would fall and the only shelter he had was from an old tent. The clothing that this older man had on came from people or organizations that would come down and if he was lucky he might find something decent. It was a free for all. The quickest to the line walked away with the best, even if that meant one man would have three pairs of boots and the next walked away without. The harsh reality was so sad, but that was his life.
I saw that Tim was talking to this man for quite a while so I walked over. Tim introduced me and they continued their conversation.
The conversation was coming to an end and we noticed that this man only had a thin pair of shoes on and there was about 5 inches of snow on the ground. The man was explaining how he is older so when he gets to the front of the clothing lines there are never any warm boots left. He pointed down at his shoes and said, "well at least I have these." A pair of old running shoes that he had probably picked up from someone who was cleaning out their closet. It was just clutter and could just as easily been thrown in the trash. The words had not even fully left his mouth when I looked down at my husbands boots and thought "but he loves them so much." The next thought was "but they no longer belong to him." I caught Tim's eye and knew what God was asking of him. Tim asked the man, "what size shoes do you wear?" Yes you guessed it... the exact size that he was wearing. The black leather boots were issued to Tim when he was in the military. They were awesome and expensive, but they no longer belonged to Tim. Tim had cared for those boots, polished the leather to keep them in great shape.

What I saw next was so touching that I couldn't speak because the tears wouldn't have stopped if I let them start. Tim said, "if I could get you a pair of boots right now would you want them?" The man said, "really, yes!!" Holding up his foot Tim said,  "they're yours." Our new friend looked confused and was fighting back tears. He said, "no, I can't! I can't take the shoes off your feet." Tim replied, "they're yours!"
Tim didn't have a back up pair in the car. The man asked Tim, "how will you get home?" Tim replied, "I will go home in my socks."

The gentlemen was so reluctant but together they walked to the car. I stayed where I was because the beauty is of what I was seeing was so overwhelming. Not only was that my husband but that was God providing through Tim the need of a man He created. God loves this man, dirty, smelly, unshaven, God loves him the same as he loves me. He loves him and wants his heart as much as He wants mine.
I kept watching as Tim untied his boots. I was watching the man's face. Every pull of the laces that loosened them from Tim's feet, the bigger his smile was getting. Both pairs were off Tim's feet and the exchange was about to take place. I couldn't hear the words my husband was speaking but what I could see was the love that was in his eyes.

I saw Tim shake his hand and the words I heard next caused the tears I had been holding back to come  pouring out. With the boots raised high in the air, held like a trophy at the completion of the championship game.  I heard these words, "the man gave me the boots off his feet!!" He shouted again, "The man gave me the boots off of his feet!!" As he shouted I looked at my husband as he sat with his legs half way in halfway out of his car. Tim's socks had never looked whiter to me. The absence of his shoes weren't what stood out to me, it was the look on Tim's face.

He didn't want everyone to know what he had done. It was being shouted at the top of this man's lungs and joy was so clear for everyone to see. Everyone around was looking. Tim quietly closed the door and gave me the look that it was time to go. I got into the car that I drove down and followed my barefoot husband home.

The exchange that took place is not common because we are so used to giving our leftovers. We give God what we have leftover rather than are very best. We gather up our old outdated, faded ready for the dump clothing and pawn it off on the "bum" on the street.

Our relationship with God is so parallel, we plan, get so busy. Were even busy doing what we think would please God but actually missing what He truly wants from us... Our very best, not the leftovers.

We serve the Lord, we go to church. We sing the songs, but do we give him our very best?



God doesn't want our leftovers. He just doesn't want you to sing the songs in church... HE wants you to worship him. He doesn't just want a lifeless body sitting in the nursery... He wants you to be his hands and touch the faces and kiss the boo-boos of His little children. He wants you to go to work with joy because He gave you that job. He placed those co-workers in your day, everyday because you may be the only glimpse they have into the heart of God.

Are you giving God leftovers or your very best? Do you hold the shoes on your feet or the car that you drive so closely that if God said, "it isn't yours anymore," you would hang onto it out of fear or joyfully hand it over to His purposes?

He wants your best!! You are His best!! You are a creation made in His image! You are His!!!
Will you give Him your best?

Lord thank you for giving your very best... your only son! Thank you for offering him as a sacrifice so that I may live in eternity with you. Help me Lord to see the areas in my life that I offer only my leftovers. Give me opportunities to see your provision and love for me. I want to offer my very best to you everyday!!! Thank you for loving me! --Amen

Sing to me!!

As the ambulance pulled away from the scene, a song was stirring in my heart.


Ellie's tears and cries were echoing throughout the small ambulance as it carried her to treatment and a chance to live.




Ellie was unable to see anything around her. She kept reaching for my face crying, "Mommy, I can't see you! I can't see you mom! Where are you?" I would bring my face close to her, allowing her to touch me and know that I hadn't left, nor would I leave.

In a few short minutes leading up to this moment in the ambulance the Lord had began to prepare my heart to let my precious daughter return to His loving arms. I knew that these moments were precious and were possibly the last time I would feel the touch of her hand on my face.

Ellie began to cry in a loud voice "Sing to me mommy! Sing to me!!!"

I could barely remember my name let alone a single lyric to a song. I remember in a split second the Lord giving a reminder of his love for us. The beautiful childhood song "Jesus loves me this I know" was the only words that would do in that moment.

Oh how he loves us.

Even if Ellie were to die... God was still God and I would continue to praise him.

Psalms 96:1-2 "Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day."

As soon as the words "Jesus loves me this I know for the bible tells me so, little ones to Him belong," Ellie's beautiful hazel eyes began to roll back into her head. The only thing visible to me were the whites of her eyes. Her life here on earth was leaving her little broken body. I continued to sing "they are weak but he is strong, yes Jesus loves me.... YES Jesus loves me!"

A lump that felt like the size of my body had lodged itself deep into my throat. Somehow singing to the Lord was helping me hand my daughter over. Somehow God was speaking truth into my life through this children's song that generations have mindlessly sung over and over.

"Yes Jesus loves me, yes Jesus loves me, yes Jesus loves me, for the BIBLE tells me so."

He loves me even in the middle of the worst kind of pain possible. He loves me!!!

I began to realize that I was not singing just to Ellie as she cried out for me to do, but God was speaking His truth to the very core of who I was.

The paramedic yelled in a loud voice "Step on it!!!" to the driver of the ambulance. He picked up his only communication to the hospital and began to report what was taking place with Ellie. I knew she was going to be with the Lord.

I felt blessed, honored and completely loved by my heavenly father at that moment. I remember thinking to myself, "What mom gets to sing her daughter into the arms of our savior?"
He was letting me love her as He was loving me.

The paramedic stood within inches of Ellie's face and yelled "Ellie sing with your mom!"
The words sounded similar to what Mary and Martha must have heard when Jesus yelled, "Lazarus come out!" John 11:43.

As quickly as Lazarus came out, Ellie opened her beautiful eyes. She looked terrified but did what the paramedic told her to do.  Ellie began to sing in the loudest, screechy voice, "Jesus loves me, this I know!"

He loves his children. He wants us to cry out in the midst of our pain. He loves to hear us sing out in joy. He loves His children period!!

In the darkest time... Jesus is there.

David wrote in Psalm 13:
"How long, oh Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, Oh Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes,
or I will sleep in death; My enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I TRUST in your UNFAILING love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I WILL SING TO THE LORD, FOR HE HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME."

In the face of my desperation (near death of my daughter) I was able to rejoice in the salvation that Ellie had accepted from a loving father.

In the face of handing her over, God lovingly gave her back.

Jesus indeed loves me this I absolutely know. Why? Because through the bible has told me so. Little ones to Him alone belong!!


You may have never faced the death of a child BUT I bet you've grieved the loss of something.

A dream? Hopes? A marriage?
What are you crying out to God for?

Where do you need to be reminded in your life of how much Jesus loves you?

I'm not talking about frilly religious talk that doesn't get you anywhere.

I am talking about a life that is completely devoted to God even when life is falling apart.

Sing out to God! 
He meets you right where you are!
Not after you take a bunch of religious steps but right where you are! Cry out in a loud voice... cry out with that lump in your throat that makes you feel like you can't breathe.

Sing to him.
He is a loving father.

Father right now where I am I offer my praise to you! I offer what I have been holding onto. I offer a song of praise because you are a loving God. Thank you for giving up everything for me so that I may have life. Lord I don't want to be a religious talker but a God fearing walker. I want to walk through this life in such a way that directs eyes to you.
Lord I give you ___________________! I offer it to you and even in the pain I will sing your praises.
--AMEN

Give your life and circumstance to God, He then will give you life like you have never experienced it before.

                  Ellie is now 12 years old and we are so thankful for everyday we have with her.


***My husband and I were faced with the real possibility of handing our 8 year old over to God. She was riding home from a friends house with her two older brothers. As she entered the cross walk she was hit by a truck. The next eight days were spent in the ICU and I learned so much about myself and more importantly I learned who God is. 
Dare I say 6 years later that this event was one of the most powerful times in my life. 
God is for us. Even if we lose everything... He is for us! 
I learned that God is to be praised in EVERY situation and we can always see His face in the darkest of times. He is worthy to be praised in life... and in death. He is worthy to be praised in the midst of whatever you are facing. He is God... and I am not.***

Some of us are goats and others Sheep...

Caleb and I drove into the gates down at Safe ground (tent city homeless shelter) looking for our friend Dale. We have been building a relationship with him over the past year and we wanted to make sure that we invited him to share Thanksgiving dinner with our family. Right away we spotted him in the crowds of people that live downtown. We drove over to him and reminded him that we still wanted to have him over for Thanksgiving. He was so excited and said, "Can I bring my friend Kevin?" I had met Kevin several times before and thought he was a great guy. I told Dale that Kevin could come as long as he wasn't drunk. I had never seen Kevin sober and he always reeked of alcohol, but was a really nice guy. 

I told Dale that on Thanksgiving morning when we came to pick them up that Kevin couldn't get into our car if we smelled alcohol on him. Dale agreed and said, "Nicole I promise I will make sure he is sober." 

Dale was so excited and so were we. 

I got home and began to share with Tim (my husband) the conversation that took place between Dale and I. 

Tim's face didn't look relieved the way I thought it would. With love and firmness in Tim's voice he said, "Nicole he is an alcoholic! He is at his best when he is intoxicated. If he comes into our home sober he will start withdrawing and I will give him a beer." 

I was so confused at first. Tim explained to me that his body is addicted and feels normal only when he has alcohol in his system. 

Tim said something to me that stung as the words hit my ears and made me question every intention deep down in my heart for letting him come into our home. He said, "Nicole we have to let him come into our home just as he is or not at all!" 

Ouch!!!! 

I couldn't help but think of Matthew 25:31-46 (don't scroll past this passage, it's crucial)

^31-33"When he finally arrives, blazing in beauty and all his angels with him, the Son of Man will take his place on his glorious throne. Then all the nations will be arranged before him and he will sort the people out, much as a shepherd sorts out sheep and goats, putting sheep to his right and goats to his left.

 ^34-36"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what's coming to you in this kingdom. It's been ready for you since the world's foundation. And here's why:

   I was hungry and you fed me,
   I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
   I was homeless and you gave me a room,
   I was shivering and you gave me clothes,
   I was sick and you stopped to visit,
   I was in prison and you came to me.'

 ^37-40"Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.'

 ^41-43"Then he will turn to the 'goats,' the ones on his left, and say, 'Get out, worthless goats! You're good for nothing but the fires of hell. And why? Because—

   I was hungry and you gave me no meal,
   I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,
   I was homeless and you gave me no bed,
   I was shivering and you gave me no clothes,
   Sick and in prison, and you never visited.'

⁴⁴"Then those 'goats' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn't help?'

 ⁴⁵"He will answer them, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me—you failed to do it to me.'

 ⁴⁶"Then those 'goats' will be herded to their eternal doom, but the 'sheep' to their eternal reward."

Oh Lord!!! I am humbled! 

When I looked at why I was hesitant to let Kevin come over it had very little to do with Kevin and everything to do with my heart.

I was actually okay with him being drunk and realized that I was afraid of what my other thirty guests would think of me for letting a drunk into my home.

Shame on me!!

Tim reminded me that I had to except Kevin for who he is and through that relationship show him the hope I have through a life lived for Jesus. 

I have this one life to be a goat or a sheep.... 

I want to be a sheep!!! 

I want to follow my shepherd. I want to know his voice so well that when he tells me to invite, I invite! When he tells me to serve, I serve! When he tells me to forgive, I forgive! I want to know my shepherds voice in the darkest of places. I want Kevin to know the shepherd that loves him, feeds him, clothes him, and excepts him for who he is. 

If all my guests would have been offended by Kevin the dirty, homeless, no teeth, drunkard then that would have been shame on them... not shame on Kevin.

I want to feed Jesus!

I want people to see Jesus in me, through me and everywhere around me. In every situation, in every trial, in every victory, in every moment I want my life to be inconvenienced with the Kevin's of the world. 

It is so easy and comfortable to just make excuses for why we can't do things, why we can't serve God, why we are to busy to wash the feet of Jesus, why we can't feed, clothe, and visit others.

I am done with comfortable!!

I am done with making "Christians" happy!

I have this one life, and only one life to make a difference.

I am ready to be uncomfortable. I am ready to be inconvenienced!

Are you?

Leave me a comment. Have you ever had a goat experience or been the recipient of someone that lived their life as a sheep? 

Please share with others.

--Nicole